~ End-Of-Life-Doula ~

 I am excited to announce that I have received my certification as an End-of-Life-Doula, my greatest objective is to help those in need this could be when a loved one has crossed or in the process of crossing.  

I could probably give an explanation of what an EOLD does, I would appreciate if you could read the testimonial below written by a Dear Friend, I feel her testimonial will explain it best. 

Testimonial from a Friend 

I met Lisa about 10 years ago. We were at a birthday party for a mutual friend of ours. We sat across the table from one another and made small talk. A couple of weeks later we ended up together again at a friend’s candle demonstration. We sat at the same table, started talking, and have never stopped!

Lisa and I had so much in common! Even as far as our fathers who were friends, and in the same club on Wooster St., Saint Mary, Madeline society. We just clicked and became better and better friends with each year.

There were so many times throughout the years that Lisa would surprise me, and instinctively know something about me, my family, or something that was going to be happening in my life. It is such an unbelievable and wonderful gift that she has. I am blown away by it every time, but the one that affected me the most, was when my father was in hospice. 

Every time I tell the story, I feel like I need to tell people there is really no way to explain exactly what happened that day at hospice, it was so incredible, that it’s almost unbelievable to me, and I was there.

 My dad had gone into hospice on Wednesday afternoon.  The doctors and nurses were wonderful, they would come in and check on him constantly, and answer all our questions. Each the doctor would come in and say that my father’s color was very good, his breathing was steady, and there was just no way to tell how long she was going to be with us.

 On Friday morning, the doctor came in and said the same thing, my dad looked fine, color was good breathing was good, etc. The nurses said good morning and told us that they were going to be changing him and making him more comfortable around 10 o’clock that morning.

 My mother, my two sisters, and I were sitting around my father, talking to him, hoping he heard us, and reminiscing, when Lisa texted me. She asked me how things were going, and, of course, I told her it’s an awful thing to go through, and very surreal, but we were trying to muddle through.

 About an hour later, she called me, and she told me that she needed to come and do the rosary with us. She said that my father wanted that, she said that our blessed mother was telling her she NEEDED to come and do the rosary.

  At first, my mother was very unsure about it, didn’t know or think she wanted to do that…. I told Lisa that my mom wasn’t up for company and Lisa said she understood and that she was there for me. 

 But then again, about a half an hour after that, she called me and basically insisted that she come. She said “Jill ! I need to be there, this is what your dad wants, our blessed mother is telling me that I need to do the rosary with your father. I know he has a very strong connection with her, as I do, and I need to come and say the rosary with you and your family. It will be fine. Just tell your mother everything will be fine.”

  So, Lisa came around 11 AM after the nurses made my dad comfortable, and we all sat around him, holding his hands, and having our hands on his shoulders, and we just started to say the rosary.

 Lisa had her phone with her, put it on a pillow near my dad, and had a recording of the rosary being said, which we all followed along with.  It took us about 25 minutes or so to do the entire rosary. We started out, saying the rosary, not knowing what to expect, but as the time went by, and we got into a nice rhythm of saying it, this unbelievable sense of calm fell over the room. It was unbelievable. 

  As soon as we were done, we all just sat back in our chairs, very much relaxed, and very much at peace. we all just sat back in our chairs and were silent for a moment, just all looking down at my father.

My mother then looked over at Lisa and said to her, thank you, Lisa I think we all really needed that, I feel so much better.  I think he heard us, and I feel like he will be seeing his father soon. 

 Lisa told my mom, that his father was already there to get him, as was his mother, and so many other people. She actually said it “it’s like he’s the president!  There are so many people here to get him!” 

She said my father was transitioning, and she was able to communicate with him, he started to give us all messages…. The things she started to tell us were so private, and so much pertaining to preparing for this moment, that we were all shocked. She even brought up the fact that we were deciding about having an open or closed casket. We had decided on having a closed casket, since he had lost so much weight…. We were not sure if my dad would want people to see him that way. She proceeded to say he did not want that, that he would prefer the open casket, and then he would look fine, and that everyone would like to see him to say goodbye.  And she was right! 

 We all just sat there, listening to the messages that my dad was giving her for us, crying and laughing, all at the same time. We felt like we had our own private little going away party for him, it was wonderful.  I was laughing about something. Lisa had said, and my mom looked at my dad, and he had stopped breathing. And he was gone. At that very moment Lisa stood up very quickly and walked away. I glanced over at the clock, and it was 12:30 PM.

 We could never thank Lisa enough for what she did for us that day. We still talk about it and are still amazed at how blessed we were to have her with us, to guide us through a very difficult day. It brings us all comfort to know that my dad knew we were there with him, and that he is reunited with his family and friends and is watching over us every day.  

Jill Rasile